By Neil Taylor
www.capmel.com
www.strikethreekayakfishing.com
Long before I was a baseball umpire. Long before I was a fishing guide. I had a life, a kid growing into who I am today. The forces that shaped that, pretty dynamic. My father, grandfather, about a powerful as they come. Some other people got in there. One, now gone from Earth now.
It has been more than 35 years since the guy has been part of my everyday life. Because of how long it has been, there are many more people who have better stories than my own. But here is what I have to say. Mr Cotter passed away on July 15th.
His family: Karen (wife), daughter (Kristen), the boys (Tom and Neil), they have to move on without him. In my opinion: He lived a long time. He got beat on pretty badly with health issues lately. I don’t guess this is necessarily the worst result. His name is Jerry Cotter. Mr . C.
What did Jerry Cotter mean to me? It is an interesting thought. It has been an extremely long time since he was a part of my life really. That doesn’t diminish his impact. He was my coach, he was the father of my best friends. He was an interesting character, even a young guy can appreciate that part of this whole thing. My parents suffered a loss, Jerry, a good friend of theirs… They were our neighbors for years. They had the “fun house.” Swimming. Computer games. Just generally a fun place to be. He taught me how to tie my first fishing knot. It is one I still use today.
I have to start with the best of the best: He taught me the meaning of several words. The very best example was, he was my baseball coach, and we had a practice. Very informal. Quite a few people around.
I was doing well as a pitcher. I might not have been the best player in the league but I was close. I might have been a little overconfident. I suffered from overconfidence for a very brief time in my life. There was a guy named Dan Cano that was about five years older than I was, Dan was there- and I decided I wanted to pitch to him. Mr. Cotter asked me if I was sure. I told him that I could get the ball by him. Mr. C approved of it (went to say something to Dan which was probably “don’t hit it straight back at this kid”). And so it went, Dan picked up a bat. I held a baseball.
First pitch, Dan hits the ball about 450 feet. Second Pitch he hits one the same distance. Fourth pitch he hits one probably 500 feet (I think it made it to the street, something I had never seen before). Thus ended the Dan Cano experiment. I was hands on hips “thinking about it.” Mr. Cotter walked over to me and he said “go get a dictionary and look up the word humble. I’m recommending that your picture be placed there.” When I got home I picked up a dictionary and looked up the word humble and I agree that’s exactly where I belonged. Mr. Cotter taught me what humble means. Dan Cano did it but Mr. Cotter gave me a word for it.
I found myself at their house more time than I was at my own. They were like a second family to me. They really took me in. They were a fun family. They didn’t mind having me around. They used to take me on their vacations. I was a kid that liked to play sports and I was a kid that like to go fishing. Mr. C helped me to go fishing a great deal because he knew that’s what I wanted to do and he took us some great places. We had one awesome trip trout fishing on the Indian Reservation. I was very fortunate to be along on those trips. I think he went out of his way to make sure fishing was a part of it. We had an incredible time.
At the time I was early in high school they moved away and I saw them a lot less often. The last time I got to see their family has to be over ten years now, maybe longer.
The man had a tremendous sense of humor. I have a dozen stories I can think of but there is one that always tickled me. I was like 12 or 13: I could hold my breath for an incredibly long. Under water, I mean literally like a minute longer than the other kids. Mr. Cotter was sitting next to the pool and I was showing off staying under water an extra long period of time. When I finally came up he lit a cigarette and handed it to me and said “here”.
As far as little league coaches go he was Top Shelf. I was pretty good those years on his team. My first year, I was not that good. Probably a year in between someone else was coach, then I think he was my coach for two straight summers. I remember I had a particularly good game one time and we had a pool party at their house after the game. I was walking by him and he called me over. He said to me “I saw a couple of things you could have done better tonight”. Other kids would have taken it one way. To me it indicated: He saw some things he liked. I knew he didn’t hand out compliments like Halloween candy. It taught me not to seek or accept easy praise.
I think he enjoyed watching all of us play baseball. He was helpful to bring us along as beginning players. He was definitely a baseball man.
My lowest point. It’s bad. It’s the lowest point of my entire sports career. Playing third base, the last inning. The last out. The ball was hit to me. Runners on first and second, all I had to do was go over and touch the base. Did I do that? No I didn’t. I made a throw to first. Out of play on the wild throw. We lost the game. I let everyone down. It was the nicest Coach Cotter ever was to me. I was LOW. He treated me like it never happened. He knew I would punish myself enough. Not even sure if my teammates really cared: The difference between third place and second place- but I was the goat. Mr Cotter treated me like I was one of his guys, not a guy who made the dumbest decision of the entire summer (which it was). I always wondered later on: Did he think I had enough pride in myself I thought I could throw a strike to first base? Because that’s why I did it. In hindsight….not the right decision (even if I made a better throw). It was just a game. Mr Cotter did want me to play it well. Mostly I did. I learned how to make a mistake and live with it. I learned how to allow other people mistakes.
Knowing all the Cotters: It was really a great contribution to my youth. Mr. Cotter, this man was so nice to me it made my life’s experiences so much better in those early years then I would have had without them living two houses down, it was a gift. He definitely busted my chops. We watched a lot of sports over at their house. And he used to say to me “Taylor” (that was my name because his son was also named Neil), “I will give you a dollar if you don’t say anything else until the second half of this ballgame.” I don’t think I ever earned a cent. I couldn’t shut up.
It was the last night of a four day camping trip. At the campfire, he stopped his conversation with the other adults he pointed at me and said “You look like you have something to say.” I nodded. He said “So?” I said, “I think we should stay here at least another week.” He put his hand on top of my head. He liked it. I liked it. I never forgot it.
You get to live for so long. This year, I have seen a lot of people I know cut down a lot sooner. I guess I am happy his family got all the years that they did with Mr. Cotter. I am tipping my hat. That guy not only set a good example for how I should be, he was nice to a kid that he could have just ignored. I would say it is all a situation of a guy who liked life, liked people and took very good care of all of “his people.” I would say that will make it that much easier for people to carry on, regardless of the gap it leaves in their lives.
I still have the dream. A dream from a night that actually happened. He comes out to take me out of the game as pitcher. I told him I didn’t want to go. He turned around and walked back. I finished the game. After that game he said “I didn’t really have another pitcher anyway.” It wasn’t true. He liked it that I didn’t want to let anyone else finish my game. Years later he said to me “You were the easiest and the toughest kid to coach.”
I wish my life was the same as it was in 1980. Everyone else caught up with me in ability and I wasn’t a baseball hero anymore I got to sit next to Jerry Cotter in campfires back then As great as my life has been, my time with my own father, brothers and Mom and the fun I got to have with the Cotter family: That may have been the best I will ever have. I try to have those same kind of times with my nephew.
To his family, working to figure out life without Mr. Cotter: I hope it is not a difficult journey. I hope to be in better touch with all of the people in this family. But, I also expect, they will do just fine. The best memories will dominate.
Thank you Mr. Cotter I never got to tell you but you were important to me. You never handed me anything I didn’t deserve: But you made me realize I had some value. Both are important to me. While I wish we were closer all these years: We didn’t have to be.. I salute you.
- The Neil Blog… - July 26, 2023
- The Catfish - July 26, 2023
- update - July 22, 2023
